What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
