found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
