When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
