So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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