the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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