is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Randomize