I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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