You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
