I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
