So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
