from now on my penis is your penis
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
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