I wish I only lived at night.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
