If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
