i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He better not be in your backpack
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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