Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
