I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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