Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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