plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Randomize