her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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