It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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