I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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