The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
