Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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