remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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