Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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