Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
