remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
