no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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