So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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