Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
