So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
