this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
