Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
