bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
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