Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize