i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
