tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize