He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
