Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
