Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
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