Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
