are you still at the devil's house?
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
