this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
