I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize