dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
