He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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