my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
