I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
