He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
