Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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