Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
