I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i don't like sucking hair
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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