no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
A+ Viking dick
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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