I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
