What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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