I skipped work to stalk him.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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