Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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