Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
