38 yer olds are good kisserssss
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
