Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
