Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I cut my penus on the lid.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
We need a shit load of segways right now
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
