omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
