Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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