remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize