i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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