i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
