I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
