i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Hello my rib-scented angel!
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize