After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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