I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
