Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
