yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
