brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
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