Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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