So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize